real life

i needed to make a special post for one particular reason. frustration. yesterday, i had one of the most miserable work days of my entire social-security earning life. it was one of those days that makes you want to spit. or cuss. or maybe both. . . simultaneously on the person who's being a grade-a, certified REAR END.

work wasn't that great. (did i already get that point across?) so "not great", in fact that i had to pray a lot. and keep my mouth shut so that i didn't say anything i would regret. and the only thing i regretted was being one of those socially responsible people who holds their tongue instead of one of those people who just says their mind, spouts off, gets enraged and then apologizes for it later. (okay, i know it's not wise, but it would feel so good to do it every once in a while.)

so i can't even tell you what evils transpired at work, but i just wanted to face the reality that sometimes i think some pretty nasty things. even though i don't say them (i mean, most of the time i don't say them. . .), they still fester and stew and become ugly thoughts. which make me aware of my ugliness. and my great need for patience. peace. perserverance. JESUS.

all this blankety blank mess will pass. i just wanted to struggle with the reality of the situation. and my deep need to change. and the fact that this is real life. feathers get ruffled. problems happen. anger is a real emotion -- even a valid one under certain circumstances. and it's just plain therapeutic to get it off my chest. now all i need is a hug. . .